Being The Good Shepherd

Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you.  Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.  Do not lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.  And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.  1 Peter 5:2-4 

There are moments as a parent when you realize that pushing harder is not the answer.  My youngest daughter recently went to church for the first time in years.  What made it especially meaningful was that it was not prompted by anything Loretta or I had said.  She went on her own.  That moment caused me to pause and rethink my approach.  I talked it through with my small group, wondering what role I should play moving forward.  The conclusion was simple: be available, answer questions, and pay attention to where God already seems to be moving. 

Not long after, she faced a situation at work.  She wanted to push hard on an issue involving another employee.  Instead of telling her what to do, I asked a different question.  “Do you feel that is the Godly response?”  She tends to want to control situations that are beyond her authority.  I gently suggested that sometimes trusting God means not forcing an outcome.  In the end, she chose to step back.  Whether she would describe it as God’s influence or not, the decision likely protected her role and her peace. 

What made the moment special was not the outcome.  It was that she was willing to talk.  Normally, my input meets resistance.  This time, the conversation felt different.  Less like correction and more like guidance. 

It made me think about a line from the movie Pulp Fiction.  At the end, a character named Jules has a moment of clarity about the life he has been living.  Speaking to a man he could easily harm, he says, “I’m trying real hard to be the shepherd.” 

God wants us through Christ to be good shepherds to all He entrusts us with.  It is an unexpected spiritual insight.  Most of us would never think of ourselves as harsh or harmful people.  But if we are honest, there are moments when our desire to help turns into pressure.  Our concern becomes control.  Our urgency replaces patience.  In those moments, we may not be acting like shepherds. 

Peter gives us a picture of what spiritual leadership is meant to look like in today’s verses.  This passage is not only for pastors or church leaders.  It applies to anyone who influences others: parents, spouses, friends, mentors, and anyone walking alongside someone in their faith journey. 

The difference between controlling and shepherding is posture.  Control says, “Do what I think is right.”  Shepherding says, “Let me walk with you while God works.”  Control pushes.  Shepherding guides.  Control creates resistance.  Shepherding builds trust.  Jesus modeled this kind of leadership.  He asked questions.  He told stories.  He invited people to follow rather than forcing them to change.  Growth happened because people encountered truth and grace together. 

Shepherding also requires something deeper within us: humility.  We must admit that we cannot change hearts.  Only God can do that.  Our role is to live faithfully, speak gently, and create space for Him to work.  Sometimes that means asking a question instead of giving advice.  Sometimes it means being quiet when we want to correct.  Sometimes it means trusting God when progress feels slow.  And sometimes it means pausing and asking ourselves the same question Jules asked in his own way.  “How can I be the shepherd here?” 

Peter closes this passage with a promise saying, “And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.” (1 Peter 5:4) There is comfort in remembering that we are not the ultimate shepherd.  Jesus is.  The people we care about are His first.  We are simply entrusted to walk with them for a season. 

When we release control and choose presence instead, something powerful happens.  Conversations open.  Resistance softens.  Trust grows.  And often, the very change we hoped to force begins to happen naturally.  As I reflect on my conversation with my daughter, I see the wisdom of this passage, and it brings me both peace and joy for Jesus, our King, says to us, “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me,‍  ‍just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep.” 

This week, consider someone in your life you have been trying to manage, fix, or push.  Instead of directing, try asking a thoughtful question.  Then step back and trust God with what follows.  Where might your desire to help have turned into pressure or control?  What would it look like to lead that relationship with patience and trust instead? 

My prayer is that God helps us to lead others the way He leads us with patience, grace, and humility.  When we feel the urge to control outcomes, He reminds us that He is the Good Shepherd guiding us to be the shepherd.  Amen.